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| Fancy a spot of tea? We've got you covered. |
“Of
course,” I replied, smiling at the thought of cookies dipped in lukewarm tea in
plastic cups and maybe a feather boa draped across our necks with big earrings
dripping from our lobes. Duh. I should know by now that such a party is lame
for the females in our house. We do theme parties. On steroids.
Last night
I walked into Grandma’s house where Chris has been spending her summer days and
immediately felt a flowery hat being plopped on my head. A flowing scarf was draped
around my neck where it clashed with the gym clothes I naively thought I would sweat
all over after an obligatory few sips of tea. That did not happen since I ended
up too stuffed with tea party goodies.
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| Even Grandpa has to suffer through our craziness. |
I was
escorted into the kitchen and given the fancy rundown. The table was set with a
lovely vase of flowers on a dainty tablecloth and surrounded by fine china and
decorated napkins. Bowls of Strawberry Romanov graced each setting. Nearby was
a tray of homemade scones with clotted cream and lemon curd topping, a plate of
cucumber finger sandwiches, and a fancy teapot filled with steaming liquid.
Undoubtedly the teapot was one Grandma carted back from her trip to England
– because it NEEDS to be authentic.
As we nibbled
on the delicacies Chris had slaved over all day, Grandpa remarked that if only it
wasn’t 104 degrees outside we could make the afternoon more authentic by dining
on the lawn as a cricket match played in the background. Or maybe cheer on some
polo players.
It’s not
the first time we’ve had such a tea party. Mom and I stayed up into the wee
hours to watch Will & Kate’s nuptials a few years ago. We enjoyed some
biscuits (that’s cookies to you uncultured folk) on that long night and laughed
at how fun it was to have a full-on British feast.
See, we don’t just clink our
teacups and call it a day. We go completely overboard and fall into every
stereotype imaginable. That’s how we roll.
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| Please enjoy the train ride and excuse us while we beat the birthday train theme like a dead horse. |
It doesn’t
stop with the London loving. We go
overboard with every party we have. It seems like once we get a theme in our
heads, we can’t stop the fabulous ideas. For instance, Chris’ last birthday was
a BBQ party in the yard. So of course she had a hamburger-shaped cake complete
with matching “Chris-py Fries” made out of cookies and invitations shaped like
a BBQ grill.
A couple of
years ago when her birthday was at a train park, of course she got a train cake
complete with cars of toxic waste, gold nuggets, logs and circus animals.
Then there
was a flip flop birthday with a flip flop-shaped piñata, a beach scene cake and
flip flop picture frames in goodie bags decorated with…flip flops.
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| It may be a bit much, but it's the coolest pinata you will ever see! |
It’s not
only Chris who gets a full-fledged theme shoved down her throat.
When my
niece turned 16, we had an Academy Awards/movie party for her birthday. The
glittery event featured a red carpet leading to the front door where her movie
poster face welcomed guests, star-shaped cookies, theater popcorn containers
and Oscar statue party favors.
When my
nephew graduated from high school he didn’t just get some Star Wars plates and
streamers. No, no. He got a Millennium Falcon-shaped cake, Chewbacca cookies, a
Death Star piñata and Light Sabers made out of pool noodles. Plates and
streamers? Those are for wimps.
I know it
all sounds utterly delightful. And it is. Really if you enjoy being bombarded
by a theme until you think you may throw up from all the matchy matchyness, we
are your party planners.
But I can’t help but wonder if I’m
saddling my child with another therapy-inducing personality trait. Will she
spend the rest of grade school thinking a book report about the civil war isn’t
complete without a period costume and hardtack snacks? Can she imagine a Halloween
in which the entire family, including the dogs, isn’t trick-or-treating in an
outfit that would be found in the Bee Movie (yes, last year we were worker
bees, a honey bee, a queen bee and a bee keeper)?
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| Not just a cool cake. But thermal detonators too. |
It all hit
home the other night when Chris told me, incredulously, that one of her friends
didn’t have a vocabulary quite as large as her own. In fact, she told me, she
had to explain to her friend what the world “overboard” meant. “Say it’s my
birthday and instead of just buying me a cake my mom makes me a special cake
that’s really huge and she decorates everything with tons of balloons and stuff
and it’s all the same theme, that’s going overboard,” Chris explained.
Oh.
Does
that mean we should reign ourselves in? I’ll work on that. As soon as we finish
this year’s “Cats! Halloween Extravaganza!”
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